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1. The twelve stages of burnout

Burnout never happens instantly. It builds up over time, slowly but surely eating away at your healthy habits until you throw away what supported your work-life balance.

The psychologist Herbert J. Freudenberger was the first one to use the term burnout indicating a state of chronic stress and exhaustion caused by professional life. He and his colleague Gail North created a list of burnout phases:

  1. Compulsion to prove onself - you feel the need to constantly prove your skills, driven by imposter syndrome, perfectionism, or fear of being seen as "not good enough.”

Signs ****- Overcommitting to tasks, taking on the toughest bugs, saying "yes" to every request, or working overtime to impress.

  1. Working harder - efforts to prove yourself turn into chronic overwork. Pushing harder to meet deadlines, learn new frameworks, or exceed unrealistic expectations.

Signs - writing code late into the night, neglecting proper testing or documentation in the rush to deliver, and a fixation on productivity metrics like velocity or commit counts.

  1. Neglect of needs - work takes precedence over self-care. Sacrificing sleep, healthy meals, and time with loved ones to "just finish one more feature.”

Signs - skipping lunch breaks, staying glued to the desk, neglecting exercise, or losing interest in hobbies like gaming or tinkering with personal projects.

  1. Displacement of conflict - challenges or frustrations at work are ignored or denied to keep up the pace, leading to emotional bottling.

Signs - avoiding tough conversations about unrealistic timelines, suppressing feelings of frustration over technical debt or poor leadership, and becoming irritable over small issues like merge conflicts.

  1. Revision of values - priorities shift as work becomes the dominant focus. Placing less importance on relationships, hobbies, and personal goals.

Signs - saying things like "I'll get back to running/painting/traveling after this project," missing family events to meet a sprint goal, or feeling guilty for not coding in free time.

  1. Denial of emerging problems - downplaying warning signs of burnout, convincing yourself you’re fine or blaming the environment instead of acknowledging your limits.

Signs - cynicism about management or coworkers ("They don't understand what I do"), blaming tech stacks or clients for all issues, or brushing off stress as "just part of the job.”

  1. Withdrawal - isolation sets in. Feeling emotionally distant, avoiding team discussions, or disengaging from friends and family.

Signs - turning off cameras during standups, declining social invitations, avoiding code reviews or mentoring opportunities, and feeling indifferent to team successes.

  1. Obvious behavioral changes - observable shifts in personality and work habits emerge, often as coping mechanisms.

Signs - snapping at coworkers during pull requests, procrastinating on critical tasks, obsessing over trivial code style issues, or becoming uncharacteristically quiet in meetings.

  1. Depersonalization - feeling detached from your work, teammates, and even your sense of purpose, leading to cynicism and emotional numbness.

Signs - thinking, "Why does this even matter?" Feeling like a code monkey, blaming clients or users for their incompetence, or seeing coworkers as obstacles.

  1. Inner emptiness and anxiety - a profound sense of void and dissatisfaction takes hold. You lose your passion for coding and problem-solving.

Signs - endless doom-scrolling on forums like Reddit, compulsive online gaming, binge-watching TV instead of engaging in self-care, or chasing fleeting dopamine hits from learning the "next big thing.”